


Starving

by blueboxspoilers



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Ouch, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboxspoilers/pseuds/blueboxspoilers
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak learns to stop wanting.
Kudos: 8





	Starving

**Author's Note:**

> CW: canon typical abuse. I don't really know how to warn for what this is, honestly. It's not graphic abuse, in the normal sense, but it is emotional abuse and "starving" someone of joy and love and the care that every person needs.
> 
> I know this is short. I know that it's really raw and probably ugly. I'm sorry.

She feeds herself in bites of honey, of chocolate, of cake, of bacon--crispy in parts and wobbly with thick white still-cold chunks of fat that she shoves down her gullet in handfuls. She drowns herself in sugar water like the slow dozy flies of late summer. She takes in buffets of her own fear, swallowing it down until she chokes on it.

She feeds him in words. _DirtyWrongBad_. Be careful. Be cautious. Be mine, forever. Don't leave me alone. Everything you want is not for you. Everything you need is too much. She serves it to him on plates of the thinnest glass, broken with a rough touch. He starves on her words. On her love. On her every offering.

Eddie learns not to want. He starts to, once. He finds himself laughing beside a boy who feeds him in hopes and dreams. Who holds the words "I love you" in his hands, his palms cupped like a bowl to offer everything he has. Eddie wakes up wanting. He wakes up hungry. He wakes up. He smiles softly in a room filled with empty wrappers and spilled cups.

She cannot let him get a taste of it. If she does, he will learn what it's like to be truly fed. To be truly happy. She breaks every plate, until there is nothing left. She fills her mouth with every bite. She must not share it. It is not his.

Eddie wakes up screaming. Starved. Wanting, but never getting. He learns to stop wanting, again. He learns to stop screaming. He has nothing left.

The other boy stands, his palms still cupped, holding the few small offerings he has to give. It is not enough. He cannot save a starving child. Not when they refuse to reach out. No matter how much he wants, no matter how often he begs him to take a sip, it will never be enough.


End file.
